Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Dear Plus-size Dresses: 5 IS NOT A PLUS SIZE

So we all know facebook has this thing where it advertises to us based on keywords in our statuses.  I like posting random words on my status to see what fb comes up with.  they are surprisingly accurate when I type in sex, advertisements for babies and pregnancy stuff comes up.  Perhaps this will subconsciously help the younger generation of fb users to swallow a pill and use a condom. 

Anyways, the most recent targeted advertisement is plus-size dresses.  I'm like What The Farm?  Why would they target me with a plus-size dress advertisement?  Then I saw the picture of the dresses in the advert.  They had teeny tiny little waists.  These dresses could not have been over a size 6.  Those dresses would not fit me no matter how much I sucked in my small, yet still existent, gut.  So if size 9 at 5 foot 2 is considered plus size;  plus-dresses.com  you can go blow my uncle Olaf's goat (and I assure you he is a goat that does not like to be blown).

Also there's this strapless bra advert where half of the advert is taken up by a seductively pouting girl's face.  I'm like: "So they're selling face bras now" I look closer "wow it's true, I can't see any straps" Then in the back ground she's posing on a bed very obviously wearing a bra WITH straps. So it must be a face-bra.  what is this world coming to when facebook starts selling face-bras?  and most importantly: Why is facebook targeting me to sell them to? 

Looks like in the facebook world 6 is the new plus size and 30 is the new 70.  Yet I still can't drag my plus-sized saggy ass face away.

saggy-ass face not saggy ass-face.

That is all.

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